Wednesday, 29 February 2012

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

A Series Of Unfortunate Events by Rebecca Tran.

With my MacBook Pro rested on my lap and earphones plugged in, I obsessively refreshed a band's YouTube page that I should not mention out of shame because I've spiralled into the hole of admiration rather than shaking my head at the thousands of fans who stayed up till 2am waiting for a new music video to be uploaded. The more I replayed it, the more catchy it became. I cursed myself silently for every time I clicked on the play button. Before I knew it, it was 4am. This ended up with me getting three hours of sleep and a painful wake up call to attend Orientation Week at university.

Taking an almost full train, I decided to sit on an empty seat across a couple. After a few bites into my cheese and bacon, the couple in front of me began touching each other and giggling. If that wasn't bad enough, they did this for the entire forty five minutes of the commute. All I could hear was giggling, tickling and the girl using a baby voice. I was pretending to eat my cheese and bacon the entire time to avoid looking at them. Forty five minutes to eat a $1.80 cheese and bacon. I hope they look back on this day in five years and mentally apologise to that girl who sat across them and had to let her cheese and bacon go cold.

The timetable staff could not fix my timetabling problems and told me to go Faculty of Science. Upon getting there, I was told they couldn't fix my timetable and directed me to the Faculty of Arts. After lining up for half an hour to talk to a staff, they told me in half a minute that they couldn't do anything about it either. Over an hour of my life was gone running around a huge campus I wasn't familiar with. All I want is permission from the Department of Mysteries to borrow a time turner so I can attend all my classes. Also within the span of fifteen minutes, I was approached by three different people in green shirts that says JESUS IS LORD to try get me to join their club.

A man approached me to join another club that involves bettering children in third world countries. He went on for minutes before finally asking what nationality I was. Out of impulsiveness, I replied, "Sri Lankan," hoping he'd get off my tail and let me off as I was in a rush. Instead, I got the opposite response I was hoping for and he exclaimed, "OH, EVEN BETTER. YOU'RE BILINGUAL!" Not to be rude, but if I'm Sri Lankan, then why am I so white?

If you enjoyed my preview of my new book of misadventures, buy it in stores next month for only $48!

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