A Series Of Unfortunate Events

A Series Of Unfortunate Events by Rebecca Tran.

Chapter 1 - CREATURE OF THE NIGHT
With my MacBook Pro rested on my lap and earphones plugged in, I obsessively refreshed a band's YouTube page that I should not mention out of shame because I've spiralled into the hole of admiration rather than shaking my head at the thousands of fans who stayed up till 2am waiting for a new music video to be uploaded. The more I replayed it, the more catchy it became. I cursed myself silently for every time I clicked on the play button. Before I knew it, it was 4am. This ended up with me getting three hours of sleep and a painful wake up call to attend Orientation Week at university.

Chapter 2 - PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
Taking an almost full train, I decided to sit on an empty seat across a couple. After a few bites into my cheese and bacon, the couple in front of me began touching each other and giggling. If that wasn't bad enough, they did this for the entire forty five minutes of the commute. All I could hear was giggling, tickling and the girl using a baby voice. I was pretending to eat my cheese and bacon the entire time to avoid looking at them. Forty five minutes to eat a $1.80 cheese and bacon. I hope they look back on this day in five years and mentally apologise to that girl who sat across them and had to let her cheese and bacon go cold.

Chapter 3 - CLASH OF THE TIMETABLES
The timetable staff could not fix my timetabling problems and told me to go Faculty of Science. Upon getting there, I was told they couldn't fix my timetable and directed me to the Faculty of Arts. After lining up for half an hour to talk to a staff, they told me in half a minute that they couldn't do anything about it either. Over an hour of my life was gone running around a huge campus I wasn't familiar with. All I want is permission from the Department of Mysteries to borrow a time turner so I can attend all my classes. Also within the span of fifteen minutes, I was approached by three different people in green shirts that says JESUS IS LORD to try get me to join their club.

Chapter 4 - IDENTITY CRISIS
A man approached me to join another club that involves bettering children in third world countries. He went on for minutes before finally asking what nationality I was. Out of impulsiveness, I replied, "Sri Lankan," hoping he'd get off my tail and let me off as I was in a rush. Instead, I got the opposite response I was hoping for and he exclaimed, "OH, EVEN BETTER. YOU'RE BILINGUAL!" Not to be rude, but if I'm Sri Lankan, then why am I so white?

If you enjoyed my preview of my new book of misadventures, buy it in stores next month for only $48!

Improviso

Our picnic was a day of "unforeseen situations" and improvisations but it all turned out okay because Vivienne slept in. Everything we forgot and needed was in her house. Our usual place at Bicentennial Park was taken so we had to be nomads in the sun searching for another BBQ facility. It ended up being a successful day though!

My to do list is now almost fulfilled:
✓ Fly a kite
❏ Kick an ibis
✓ Attempt tandem biking
✓ Get Ls for biking
✓ Break a bike
✓ Interrogate Jocelyn about her love life
✓ Make concoctions in the boot of a car
✓ Human tetris seven people in a five seat car
✓ Skeletal tan

I have concluded that there is such thing as too long of a holiday. I need education. Grass is growing where my brain's supposed to be. (What brain?) I want to sponge up as much knowledge as I can at uni so I'll make the most out of the next few years. Or take me back to high school to be reeducated is okay too.

I can feel post HSC coming to an end. Pre uni is starting to hit me instead.

Peregrinus

Glebe Round II wasn't as much as a failure as Round I but it wasn't much of a success either. We earned just enough profit to pay back for the stall hire.

Secretly I did not sleep at all because of the tea I drank before I slept and I didn't tell the others because I knew they'd lecture me and question my logic. I swear I thought I was immune to caffeine. I guess that's deteriorating along with my brain from lack of use. My eyes were wide opened as if I was indirectly attacked by a basilisk.

It was my first time setting foot on Glebe (previous time with me occupying the car the whole time while the others dealt with the never ending rain trying to reschedule it to another day with a stubborn "Assistant Waggle Fingers" refusing to allow anyone to). The place makes me feel like I've entered a hippie and gypsy den with a quarter of the stalls selling strange incense, jewellery and a tarot card reader.

Later, Elaine, Jocelyn and Vivienne joined us at Strathfield to eat Korean BBQ with unlimited meat. Nothing could get better than that except unlimited meat that guarantees constipation along with it. We made up code numbers to tweet to let each other know when we're home if we experience one of the following:
6 - on the toilet
8 - infinite diarrhoea
9 - constipation

Turns out that Vivienne isn't having when of her dopey moments we make fun of when she said, "I DON'T WANT TO EAT ANYMORE. I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR SICKNESS." I came home to see a flock of "999999" on Twitter. (DID YOU GUYS GET MY UNINTENTIONAL PUN? FLOCK? TWITTER? BIRDS? SPAM? ANYONE?!)

Bardus

I went to Jason's place for a few hours since his parents are overseas and the logical thing to do is watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 and to eat jelly and jellybeans in case his parents would disapprove of such reckless behaviour if they were there. I am still so appalled that most of the guys haven't watched it yet. Blasphemy! They kept asking the dumbest questions and I wanted to strangle them so badly.

William [asking about Bill and Fleur's wedding]: Who's wedding is it?
Jason: It's Harry and Ron's wedding. Can't you tell? Haven't you read the books?

William [about Kreacher]: HE'S NOT AN ELF! HE'S A GOBLIN. I SWEAR ELVES HAVE LONGER EARS!

Jason [about Umbridge]: She reminds me of Suzanne.

Jason [explaining the fight scene between Harry and Ron to William]: You see? Ron ran away. They just got divorced. He was jealous because he thought that Harry liked Hermione.

William: Is that Neville Bottom?

James: Who's that? Who died?
Jolly: Tonks and Ron's dad.

Jolly [about the scene with the Resurrection stone in the forest]: The stone is fake, which is why Harry can't touch them. (Them as in Lily, James, Sirius and Lupin.)

Brandon: WAIT, DIDN'T HARRY POTTER DIE?! Oh whatever, I don't give a shit.

Guess which group of people I don't plan to watch Harry Potter with ever again?

Long Live

Usually at the end of an era, declarations of love are made after years of expressing our friendship through physical and verbal abuse. I hope these messages will make up for everything!

The group: We appear to be an ordinary group of people but once you get to know us, I think we're all quite quirky in our own ways! You guys are the biggest bunch of nerds I have ever met. I wish I was half as smart as you all without any effort and manage to pull through the other end with high marks. I can also learn Asian languages off you guys more than any teacher could ever teach me. WATASHI WA MECCHA KAWAII DESU, DESHOU? WATASHI WA OTAKU KUREEJI OOKI BUTA. I will miss those conversations where you all dream big about how you want to be proposed and things your boyfriend or husband must do for you. It's always so funny, awkward or corny! Too much fan fiction and God knows what else you guys read ("ROMANCE NOVELS") and watch to get all those ideas. It's only been two years since I've started really integrating into the group (because I used to think half of you were snobs) so thank you for accepting me and being patient with me. I will miss every single moment we have during our recess and lunch breaks at the canteen bench area.

+ Amy, Desiree, Elaine, Elaine, Jellee, Jocelyn, Julie, Stephanie and Vivienne.

Random group: I love how we all act like we've been best friends since forever when in reality, most of us only just got to know each other last year. We're all completely different people from completely different groups but we're all comfortable around each other and we have the funnest times together outside of school. But God, sometimes you guys can be so annoying! We argue way too much on where we should go or either we're completely lost and we keep changing plans till I'm fed up by the end and want to strangle some of you! But we always have fun regardless and I always end up feeling bad for wanting to strangle some of you in the first place. I forget my worries and dramas in my life when I'm with you guys and you're just the most wonderful group of people ever. That day on Moon Festival will always be the highlight of my high school life. Every time I go past the park next to PCYC, I always think of how it's "our place" and get all nostalgic and miss you all. You have no idea how much you guys mean to me. Thank you for making my senior years spontaneous, insane and memorable.

+ Andrew, Anna, Anne, Fiona, Danh, Irada, Jason, Peter, Tony, Wendy and Ye Na.

Twitter fambam: You are a bunch of lively (and cynical) birds who I'd tie a bow on and keep you in one of those pretty vintage cage if I could in a non creepy way. We spazz about everything and anything and none of us would understand what the other is saying but that's okay, WE LUV DAT SPAM. We're also known as the classy bitches and I feel pretty proud of that even though I probably shouldn't be. I mean, if we're going to be a bitch, the least we can do is be smart about it unlike other people. And I love how whenever we talk about someone, we just refer to a letter and we all instantly know which "W" it is. And you probably know which "W" I'm referring to as an example now. I miss those nights where we stay up to have dnm convos, freely talk about nearly anything and I'd just come derping along and ruin the moment with a very random tweet in an attempt to contribute. Although we're restricted now because of the other tweeters, at least we still have our other nest that doesn't restrict us to a 140 character limit!

+ Amy, Desiree, Jellee, Jenna and Stephanie.

There's also a few other individuals (Anna, Andy, Annie, Christine, David, Jenny, Judy, Leanne, Physics gang and Vivian) who deserve a mention because they've made a difference in my life one way or another.

YOU GUYS ARE ALL AMAZING.

I don't care what people say about everyone drifting after uni starts, I am determined to keep my friendship with you after high school. I wish I could have all the time in the world or put a pause on life to make more memories and laughs but time is racing against us and we have to keep up. I will miss each and every one of you and I hope we will still make the effort to meet up once in a while! Even if you call just to go jumping in the biggest puddle ever in the entrance of E block, I'll be there.