Repetitio

University. It is that period of time again. It starts off the same as every other day. You bump into your high school friends at your local train station and sit there realising how everyone has grown up as you share your life stories. Then you bid your goodbyes as you get off at your stop and join the solemn march of tired students up the stairs of the station. As you walk out, you're greeted by a homeless person with a cup of silver coins clasped between two hands, who has now become a part of the city tapestry, camouflaged into the walls because you're so used to his presence. A pang of pity hits you and leaves as fast as the lingering smell of cigarettes at the café you've just passed.

You face your first challenge of the day - The three sets of stairs that leads you to the main campus. By the time you reach the top, you take quick glances to your left and right hoping the people around you notice you're out of breath and panting. For the next and most difficult challenge for the socially awkward, you strategically choose your seating arrangements in your first lecture to sit right in the middle so you don't seem too eager at the front or too badass at the back, leaving one seat on either side of you to leave room for friendship.

Yeah, it's all been thought out carefully for me because I do not know how to initiate conversations. SOMEONE JUST BE MY FRIEND AND MAKE THIS NEW SEMESTER LESS MISERABLE. And did I really just word vomit all of that?

Friends For Dummies

As we grow older, we find it much more difficult to make friends. When we are 5, friends are the people who share toys with you. When we are 10, friends are the people who don't have cooties. When we are 15, friends are the people who hates the same person as you. See how much more difficult it gets? Well, thank goodness there's me to help you out on the journey of friendship for those struggling to find friends in environments, such as uni, with the world's biggest pretentious people.

Friends For Dummies by Rebecca Tran.

1. Be confident with who you are. A good method is to practise saying your name in front of a mirror until you're confident that you won't forget it. Being the nervous person I am around unfamiliar people, I almost introduced myself as Tessa to a fellow lab group member. I honestly have no idea where that came from and I hope none of you will ever make that mistake after following my advice because it is downright embarrassing and the biggest brain fart you'll ever experience. If you want to go a step further, it's a good idea to remember what course you do and why you're doing it as well.
2. Equip yourself with knowledge (or lack of). One of my earliest uni friends I've made was by wondering around lost with the map of my uni opened on my phone. A girl asked me for directions and by coincidence, she was in the same tutorial as me. Through our shared fear of being lost in one of the creepiest buildings and getting in trouble for arriving late to our first class, we somehow became friends. By another great coincidence, we have a mutual love for fictional characters and tendency to leave assignments till the night before it was due. So either being lost or being a know it all will get you somewhere! You're either lost together or a know it all helping out a lostie.
3. Get to know the people from your group work. Rants of my friends' uni woes mostly comprises of bad experiences to do with group work. In your group, there will almost always be someone being a control freak and/or someone who does not contribute to anything and never turns up to meetings. Bonding with others over mutual hatred works a charm. Thank God I don't have group work yet. However, there might be those rare occasions that everyone in your group does what they're supposed to and you enjoy your time together so you might even spend time outside of uni together.
4. Electrocute them. There's nothing like beginning a friendship with a spark. Speaking from experience, it hurts but it's worth the pain. When put in those situations, it brings out their real personalities by how they deal with things. For example, I met two guys in my physics tutorial and it was so silent and awkward. One of the questions that we had to answer involved using a van de Graaff. Since I had long hair, I used it to try make my hair radiate out. One of them came too close to me and the electrons jumped and passed onto him causing us to experience an electric shock. I found that he is dramatic and likes to swear when things get tough and the other guy is still immature ("YOU GOT HIT BY A GIRL!") and would rather laugh than ask if we're okay. After that, it was less awkward.

Good luck and may you find that special someone to make cherished memories with!

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

A Series Of Unfortunate Events by Rebecca Tran.

Chapter 1 - CREATURE OF THE NIGHT
With my MacBook Pro rested on my lap and earphones plugged in, I obsessively refreshed a band's YouTube page that I should not mention out of shame because I've spiralled into the hole of admiration rather than shaking my head at the thousands of fans who stayed up till 2am waiting for a new music video to be uploaded. The more I replayed it, the more catchy it became. I cursed myself silently for every time I clicked on the play button. Before I knew it, it was 4am. This ended up with me getting three hours of sleep and a painful wake up call to attend Orientation Week at university.

Chapter 2 - PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
Taking an almost full train, I decided to sit on an empty seat across a couple. After a few bites into my cheese and bacon, the couple in front of me began touching each other and giggling. If that wasn't bad enough, they did this for the entire forty five minutes of the commute. All I could hear was giggling, tickling and the girl using a baby voice. I was pretending to eat my cheese and bacon the entire time to avoid looking at them. Forty five minutes to eat a $1.80 cheese and bacon. I hope they look back on this day in five years and mentally apologise to that girl who sat across them and had to let her cheese and bacon go cold.

Chapter 3 - CLASH OF THE TIMETABLES
The timetable staff could not fix my timetabling problems and told me to go Faculty of Science. Upon getting there, I was told they couldn't fix my timetable and directed me to the Faculty of Arts. After lining up for half an hour to talk to a staff, they told me in half a minute that they couldn't do anything about it either. Over an hour of my life was gone running around a huge campus I wasn't familiar with. All I want is permission from the Department of Mysteries to borrow a time turner so I can attend all my classes. Also within the span of fifteen minutes, I was approached by three different people in green shirts that says JESUS IS LORD to try get me to join their club.

Chapter 4 - IDENTITY CRISIS
A man approached me to join another club that involves bettering children in third world countries. He went on for minutes before finally asking what nationality I was. Out of impulsiveness, I replied, "Sri Lankan," hoping he'd get off my tail and let me off as I was in a rush. Instead, I got the opposite response I was hoping for and he exclaimed, "OH, EVEN BETTER. YOU'RE BILINGUAL!" Not to be rude, but if I'm Sri Lankan, then why am I so white?

If you enjoyed my preview of my new book of misadventures, buy it in stores next month for only $48!